At the bottom of this post you can find a list of some of the possible effects that may emerge at later stage of dedicated and advanced meditation practice quoted from “The Vajra Essence” by Düdjom Lingpa which may be of great interest in, how it is called today, integration of ayahuasca ceremonies, as they are so similar to what some experience after the retreat. Not sounding friendly for Instagram self development publicity, right? But is very important to mention them here, because even if rare, these are possible and are signs of entering territory that is worrying and even terrifying for a culture, including mental health practitioners, habituated in accepting only one “normal” state of consciousness, others being reluctantly tolerated only if one is guaranteed to bring from there presents to use in “everyday” productive reality.
If we are however familiar with this territory, and are being trusted as guides, we can help doubting seekers to find the path forward, away from for example guruism and other traps of inflated ego, but also away from panic “i have done ayahuasca and now I am crazy and must be rescued from uncertainty by absolute answers of pharma drugs, licensed psychiatrist or shelter in Christ”.
While many of us would likely respond to some of those disagreeable experiences by stopping the practice or seeking medical help, Düdjom Lingpa actually called them all “signs of progress”! It truly is progress when you recognize how cluttered and turbulent your mind is. But the deeper you venture into the inner wilderness of the mind, the more you encounter all kinds of unexpected and, at times, deeply troubling memories and impulses that manifest both psychologically and physically. At times, these may become so disturbing that psychological counseling or medical treatment may be necessary. Düdjom Lingpa’s advice is to stay a steady course in the practice, continuing to observe whatever comes up, without distraction and without grasping. This is a tall order, but it is the way forward. There is no way to probe the depths of consciousness except by way of the psyche, with all its neuroses and imbalances. It should come as some solace that none of these unnerving experiences are freshly introduced into your mind by meditative practice. Whatever comes up was already there, previously hidden by the turbulence and dullness of the mind.
The issues : • An inexplicable sense of paranoia about meeting other people, visiting their homes, or being in public places
• Compulsive hope in medical treatment, divinations, and astrology
• Such unbearable misery that you think your heart will burst
• Insomnia at night, or fitful sleep like that of someone who is critically ill
• Grief and disorientation when you wake up
• The conviction that there is still some decisive understanding or knowledge that you must have, and yearning for it like a thirsty person longing for water
• The emergence, one after another, of all kinds of afflictive thoughts, and being impelled to pursue them, as painful as that may be
• Various speech impediments and respiratory ailments
• The conviction that there is some special meaning in every external sound that you hear and form that you see, and thinking, “That must be a sign or omen for me,” compulsively speculating about the chirping of birds and everything else you see and feel
• The sensation of external sounds and voices of humans, dogs, birds, and so on all piercing your heart like thorns
• Unbearable anger due to the paranoia of thinking that everyone else is gossiping about you and putting you down
• Negative reactions when you hear and see others joking around and laughing, thinking that they are making fun of you, and retaliating verbally
• Because of your own experience of suffering, compulsive longing for others’ happiness when you watch them
• Fear and terror about weapons and even your own friends because your mind is filled with a constant stream of anxieties
• Everything around you leading to all kinds of hopes and fears
• When you get into bed at night, premonitions of others who will come the next day