Aim for the truth, not for wellbeing.
These words below apply equally to the medicine ceremony, because it is, or should be, a meditation. The fact that you ingested plants should change nothing about your attitude – as you sit down after taking your cup, you should expect nothing and do nothing but witness, whether at initial stage of “ nothing is happening yet”, at later peak “this is too much” or last but not least at the stage of “but that is not what I hoped for”. This is not a race with a specific destination in sight, even if you have your intention, once you planted the seed, drop it out of your sight. So that pain mentioned below can be what you call depression – but transcending it is the by-product of medicine work, not a goal to strive towards, even if this is what all your instincts and desires tell you to do. It is not just a self denial but sign of wisdom, because it is precisely the striving that pushes away and is the source of occassional disappointment with psyche-delics. Well, did someone ever call them psyche-fixers?
“In meditation we are not trying
to overcome or to defeat anything,
and we are not trying to gain
any level of high spiritual achievement
for the sake of pleasure.
⠀
Since the practice of meditation
is not at all geared to pleasure,
its achievement should also
be beyond pleasure —
⠀
and since it transcends pleasure,
it also transcends pain.
⠀
But transcending pain
and developing peace
are by-products of meditation practice
rather than an immediate aim.”
⠀
~ Chögyam Trungpa